[Mimi S]

I talk to some people in classes, and I think I'm a lot less shy then I used to be, and I have more friends. There are these "popular" people in my school though. They aren't really well-liked, but people seem to try to be like them, and they always seem to be a little ahead of you. They were the first to swear, the first to wear make-up, the first to date, the first to dress all cool, and I don't know if they've had sex yet but damn sure they'll be the first to.































I'm in regular classes this year (I got bad grades last year, but I'm improving.) I'm now surrounded by all these popular people in classes. Now I'm a total loser in periods 4 and 5. I can't really talk to any of them. Usually I can small talk with people, but it's difficult to small talk when everyone already has friends and is chatting away. Around me in period 5 is a whole group of popular people, and they chat away to each other and I don't know how to join. It's especially difficult because they already think I'm quiet and I find it awkward talking to people who find me quiet. (It takes me a while to open up to people by making comments so they stop thinking I'm quiet, so I can stop acting quiet. Don't ask me why I act quiet just because someone thinks I am, it's just a thing.)















I look like a total loner...When we're waiting for the bell to ring, everyone around me is talking and I just sit there.































I tried making a comment to one of them ("Look, everyone around us is absent. Maybe we drove them away." Not really funny, I know, but a conversation starter) , but she gave me a weird look. She's not even mean, our teacher put us in a group together and she was pretty nice.















She was just surprised that I was talking to her...which would have made small talk extremely awkward.































I know I sound a little obsessive about these people, but I HATE looking like a loner, because then people think of you as a loner and then all of a sudden no one wants to be your friend.

[Peter Marshall Booker]

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